Thankfully, I work with children, so it is easy to avoid responsibility and allow the child next to me to take the blame for any unpleasant smells. Not a few times have I passed wind and a parent subsequently picked up their child to smell his/her rear to see if he/she has dirtied his/her diaper. However, what took the cake this week was when I passed gas in a class made up of mostly 3.5 year olds. A child caught wind (pun intended) of one of my foul vapors and exclaimed, "I smell something bad." Trying to inquire but not give myself away, I asked, "Well, what is it you smell?" "It smells like poop," he replied. Say no more. I'm done.
I researched daily gas and bloating issues via the ever-so-wonderful world wide web, and the first suggestion that popped up across all discussion boards was lactose intolerance. My husband, upon broaching the subject with him and having had first hand experience with my odoriferous ventings, agreed with the idea. I am a fiend when it comes to milk and cereal in the morning, yogurt or cheese often for a snack, and ice cream at the end of the night. I love dairy. Who can blame me? Since my diet is otherwise nutritious and healthy, I was left with no other obvious options. I decided to go all in.
My supportive husband kindly procured almond milk for my cereal the next morning, and my lunch box the next day had zero dairy in it. I had had a milkshake the day before, so I puttered my way through Day 1 with little to no change noted. Day 2 was pockmarked with a few gaseous excerpts, but the bloating I had experienced on a nearly daily basis was not there. Nor did it appear on Day 3 or 4. The frequency of my outbursts had definitely decreased, or if I did pass gas I could account for the reason why - an otherwise common trigger food I had consumed earlier.
Here it is now, Day 7. I am holding strong. I abstained from Chicken Parmesan and ice cream cake last night (which I'm convinced caused a little piece of me to die inside). At one point today, I thought, "Today would be a nice day to enjoy cheese cake." NOPE! All of my usual go-to's are no-no's. Pizza is out of the question, as is a fast dinner of raviolis. Such realizations have been occurring all week as has the confirmation that diary has been a significant part of my diet up to this point.
Other than being denied some of my most beloved foods, the worst part of this detox is the withdrawal symptoms. Yep, I'm going through withdrawal. Many people have had flu like symptoms when they come off dairy. They often feel fatigue and "brain fog." Headaches, acne breakouts, gas, and even mood swings make the list of potential symptoms. Thankfully, I have not suffered terribly. However, today, I feel very fatigued. Truly, I am often tired due to the high amounts of energy I expend at work, but this is beyond my norm. Additionally, my attitude over the last few days has been lethargic, which is also very unlike me.
Nevertheless, I keep on pushing, confident that I will overcome this hurdle and be all the better for it. I can't say that I am flatulence free, but there has been a definite improvement. Now, if only my body can finish purging itself of all the dairy waste that has built up over the last 26 years and I can get beyond withdrawal, I know I will be in a much better place. I'll be sure to keep you, readers, updated, but for now, the quest continues.
