My mother's post comes as a rebuttal to an article she read in her local newspaper that had been scooped up from the St. Petersburg Times. Written by Susan Thurston, it goes as follows:
Good moms are kind, patient -- and fashionable
Good moms are known for being kind, nurturing and patient. But fashionable? Not so much. Some days, just getting out of the house with matching socks can seem like an accomplishment. But a little planning and attention to details can go a long ways in preparing you for the stylish, adult world.
Here are some of my fashion tips for looking good or, at least, presentable.
Limit gym clothes to the gym. Sure, sporting sweats and a T-shirt around Target is comfortable, but it's also frumpy and screams mom. If you must, trade the T-shirt for something form-fitting with a lower neckline and couple it with a zip-up jacket. Save the XL "2004 Walk Against Alzheimer's'' T-shirt for when you have a headache and aren't in the mood for you-know-what.
Lose the baseball cap. While Faith Hill looks sexy strutting around with her three daughters in a ball cap, the majority of us don't. Your greasy hair isn't really that noticeable, especially from a distance. And if you're really concerned about your mange-y mane, try a ponytail with a headband or big sunglasses.
Accessorize. Spruce up outfits with scarves, belts and jewelry. (Wedding bands and diamond studs earrings you got for high school graduation don't count.) Don't leave the house without cute earrings, even if it means no time for mascara. Accessories are cheap and interchangeable. And they always fit.
Avoid high-maintenance clothes. That silk blouse looks great fresh from the dry cleaners but goes downhill fast. And who has time to iron? Rather than banish wrinkly clothes to the Siberia of your closet, buy stuff that looks good after multiple wearings.
Ditch the mom jeans. If your jeans cover your belly button, call a sitter and get to the store. Quick. Because, let's face it. If Jessica Simpson looks bad in mom jeans, so will the rest of us.Go for some heel. Nothing says frumpy like a dirty pair of sneakers or banged-up Aerosoles. A little heel dresses up any outfit and adds confidence to your step.
Mimic good style. Grab a People magazine when the kids are asleep and take some fashion tips from the celebs. Even if you can't dress like the stars, at least you'll know not to wear that peasant skirt in your closet.
Invest in a few good pieces. We all wish the sales clerks at Nordstrom's knew us by name, but who has the budget? Instead, spend a little extra on clothes you wear a lot — jeans, slacks and jackets — and go cheap on the trendy stuff, which won't last many fashion cycles anyway. Be cautious about buying too much at Target and Walmart and don't pooh-pooh places like JCPenney and even Sears, which have decent quality clothes and great sales.
My mother's rebuttal, entitled:
I AM NOT FRUMPY!!
First, let me say I am not a follower of fashion. No one would call me a fashionista. When I read the above article, I found the writer left out those of us who consider ourselves trailblazers of our "own" fashions. To Ms. Thurston, I would admonish -- "Never judge a women by her lack of apparent apparel judgment." There may be more to it than meets the eye.
First: There are plenty of moms who would like to be fashionable, but when Baby spits up all over your $200 silk blouse - your day and blouse are ruined. I do agree with Ms. Thurston's observation, "some days, just getting out of the house with matching socks can seem like an accomplishment." To that I say, "It is!" To some of us, just bending over to put on socks is an accomplishment. So I applaud any women wearing socks - matched or otherwise. I suppose the "planning and attention to detail" idea is a good one, but to those of us who wear the same thing every day (jeans & t-shirts), our stress level is low. There is no need to think about detail other than "What color shirt do I wear today?" I can be dressed and out the door in 15 minutes, no fuss, no muss.
Concerning the fashion tips:
Limit gym clothes to the gym. How can something comfortable be frumpy? Now granted, it is not a pretty sight if the t-shirt and sweatpants are soaked in sweat, but maybe "Mom" had to stop at Target to pick up infant Tylenol for her sniffling, fevered child after gym class. Obviously, Ms. Thurston has never worn an 18 hour girdle or jammed herself into one of those body contour things to be thin and svelte. Maybe the "Mom" was heading for the contortion girdle aisle because her gym classes weren't producing the desired effects. And what's wrong with the XL "2004 Walk Against Alzheimer's" T-shirt? It shows others you may not embrace fashion but you do have a commitment to something worthwhile. I say, "Wear your Alzheimer's shirt proudly." Did I put on socks this morning?
Lose the baseball cap. What!? I don't wear baseball caps to cover my greasy, mangy hair. I wouldn't want to mess them up. I wear them because they are great alternatives to wearing a headband or sunglasses. In a hurry, just plop the ball cap on your head, pull your hair through the hole in the back, and off you go. If the sun is in your eyes, pull the brim of your cap down low (over your eyebrows) for protection from UV rays or a sinister lurking character glancing at your socks. After looking at my baseball cap collection (of 3), I realize none promote baseball - just death and alternative housing. Hmmm! My ball cap advertising is a bit gloomy; Rock of Ages Memorials, Knock 'em Dead (from a local funeral home) and Yellowstone Log Homes. How can I accessorize my ball caps if not wearing black?
Accessorize. Cute earrings?! What are cute earrings? Am I allowed to wear mismatched cute earrings to utilize the onesies in my jewelry box? And what about those of us without pierced ears? We have to "clamp" our cute earrings on our earlobes and hope they stay on. Have you ever had one fall off, down the front of your dress while teaching a class? It is an example of contortionism watching Teacher fish it out!
Avoid high-maintenance clothes. "And who has time to iron?" Extreme Ironers do! They will iron clothes - anything, anywhere.
Ditch the Mom Jeans. This point is where I become indignant! First, I am too old to look like Jessica Simpson nor do I care to look like her. And why wouldn't my jeans cover my belly button? My underwear does! See, when you get older it goes like this: one old belly button (possibly flabby) - one underwear that goes over the old flabby belly button - one pair of "relaxed" jeans that covers all of the one underwear that goes over the flabby belly button. I have no need to call a sitter. My children are all old enough now to make their own belly button decisions.
Go for some heel. What's wrong with my dirty pair of sneakers? They are badges of my hard work. When I see a woman with dirty sneakers I know she has spent the day chasing Johnny down the street pedaling his trike in his underwear, mowed the lawn (alas the green stains), juggled 3 bags of groceries while trying to rummage through her purse for the house key, had lemonade spilled on them (alas the yellow, sticky stain), and finished her day by throwing them in the dryer. Could high heels do so much? I am past high heels. I would love to wear them but practicality has set in. When your feet start sprouting bunions and your ankles wobble, the last thing you want to be supported by is tight leather on stilts.
Mimic good style. What's the matter with peasant skirts? I like peasant skirts! They are light, airy, and cover a multitude of "summer annoyances." I could wear something cool and comfortable like summer shorts, but then you would be subjected to viewing my purple varicose veins, knobby knees, and (perish the thought) unshaven legs. Broom skirts are even better because they can be wrinkled and still look good. The one drawback to peasant and broom skirts is that they can make you look quite "hippie" if you are one who carries some extra girth below that "old belly button."
Invest in a few good pieces. When discussing this aspect with Dad, his comment was, "Well cut back on Snapfish and you can afford to buy a few pieces." [My mother is an avid photographer]. Men don't have a "sense" of fashion, all they see are dollars and "cents." In defense of Target [she worked there], they did try to incorporate name designers into their wardrobe selection, Isaac Mizrahi for one. Haven't heard from him of late (not that we are on speaking terms). Where are you Isaac? At least I know Target fills all my wardrobe needs - jeans, t-shirts, and socks!
So to the fashion world I would advise "don't pooh-pooh" the seemingly fashion-less. I am comfortable. I AM NOT FRUMPY!
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| My Beloved Mother |
I was laughing so hard at this post. What a cool mama you have!
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